When self-care feels like another chore

You've lit the candle, opened your gratitude journal, and slid into a lavender-scented bath. But instead of feeling relaxed or grounded, you feel... annoyed. Maybe even resentful or a little guilty. Like you’re failing at failing gracefully. Like rest is just another box to check, another task you’re bad at.

If that’s you: You’re not doing self-care wrong. You're probably just doing someone else’s version of it.

Let’s Talk About Self-Care

In recent years, self-care has been aesthetic-ified. Pinterest boards, perfectly arranged “me-time” routines, curated morning habits…

Many people, especially high-achievers, women, and caregivers, feel even more stressed trying to “keep up” with self-care. In fact, a 2020 study published inFrontiers in Psychology found that when relaxation is forced or done out of obligation, it can actually increase cortisol (the stress hormone) in about 1/3 of people.*

That’s right; your body might interpret “scheduled relaxation” as another pressure to perform. No wonder you’d rather scroll in bed or zone out to Netflix.

Your Brain on “Shoulds”

Every time you think: “I should journal. I should meditate. I should be calmer.” Your brain hears: another deadline.

That’s not care. That’s pressure in a wellness mask. You’re not failing. You're just trying to fit a square peg (your messy, tired, human self) into a round hole (Pinterest self-care).

Good News: Rest is Prophetic

The Prophet ﷺ leaned on a pillow while hosting guests. Not because he was lazy. Because rest is sunna. You’re not selfish for pausing. You're following a 1,400-year-old tradition of mercy.

Try This Instead (Under 5 Minutes. No Journal.)

1. Legs Up the Wall: Lie down, legs straight up on the wall. Breathe. Stare. Think about nothing or everything. This simple position resets your nervous system. No effort. No rules.

   
   

2. Voice Note Walk: Walk around. Record yourself talking—rant, cry, vent, laugh. Walking + speaking = double stress relief. No editing. No audience. Just release.

   
   

You don’t need more to-dos. You need permission.

So here it is: Rest isn’t earned. It's required. Even if it looks like lying on the floor. Even if it comes with cold pizza. That’s not lazy. That’s self-care.

Embracing Your Unique Self-Care Journey

Self-care is not one-size-fits-all. It’s about discovering what truly nourishes you. Maybe it’s a quiet cup of tea in the morning or a spontaneous dance party in your living room. The key is to listen to your body and mind.

Explore Different Self-Care Practices

There are countless ways to practice self-care. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Nature Walks: Spend time outdoors. The fresh air and natural surroundings can be incredibly rejuvenating.

  
  

• Creative Outlets: Try painting, writing, or crafting. Expressing yourself creatively can be a wonderful form of self-care.

  
  

• Mindfulness and Meditation: Even a few minutes of focused breathing can help center your thoughts and calm your mind.

  
  

The Importance of Community

Don’t underestimate the power of community in your self-care journey. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Share your struggles and victories. This connection can be a vital part of your well-being.

Finding Balance

It’s essential to find a balance between productivity and rest. Remember, it’s okay to take a break. You don’t have to be “on” all the time. Embrace the moments of stillness. They can be just as productive as your busiest days.

Quick Question (Just Think It)

What self-care trend do you hate? (Mine: soaked baths. I’d rather chew on ice!)

Comment below.

Remember, self-care is about you. It’s your journey, your rules. So, let go of the pressure to conform. Embrace what feels good and right for you. You deserve it.